Andrew and Gwen's Blog

SC2fail.com

2011-08-08T09:57:00.001-07:00

Check out my new Starcraft 2 failure website!

www.sc2fail.com

Back on top

2011-06-05T20:15:00.001-07:00

Woot!

I'm taking a few weeks off to prepare for my upcoming exam (on the 17th of June), so It was good to get the promotion before I went cold turkey. Note also in the background that I'm ranked #4 in my division. Woot!

If I get sick of studying and need a break in the next two weeks, I may create a blog post about how I got back to diamond. Maybe creating a blog segment called "strategy corner" or something stupid like that. I may be forbing myself from playing, but who says I can't write about playing?

andrew is the best warning, contains mild thor movie spoilers

2011-05-11T12:38:00.000-07:00

last night andrew and i went to see thor in imax and 3d. it the first imax-3d movie we had ever seen and we pronounced it freaking awesome. we ate delicious burgers at this joint downtown called "uburger" and our only mistake was not also ordering a chocolate "frappe." altogether, a most excellent date night.

on the walk home from the porter t stop i asked andrew to help convince me of an afterlife. ever since i went through a period of fainting spells, i've had trouble believing in the afterlife. i want it to be true, and i hope it is with all of my heart. but for some reason, the absolute black nothingness i felt when i fainted has continued to haunt me. i cannot forget the disorientation of waking up from fainting, the gasp of breath and frantic pounding of my pulse as my body suddenly remembers it is still alive. in those moments it felt like i had ceased to exist, and according to my cardiologist, my heart was pretty convinced of that fact as well. so subconsciously i am convinced i know what death feels like (and perhaps birth?). since i'd much rather have unfailing belief in an afterlife, i routinely demand andrew comfort me and spread the warmth of his belief blanket around my subconscious. maybe if i believe in andrew's belief, i can somehow trick my subconscious back into believing that our souls will go on while our physical forms lie rotting in the earth. morbid much?

so andrew, being a good husband, always complies and tells me about why he thinks there is an afterlife and all the fun things we'll get to do there, like hang out with unicorns and hobbits. so last night i brought up that if he died before i did (god forbid) he must send me a sign that there is an afterlife (a similar bargain to what houdini and his wife struck). andrew said that still wouldn't convince me because i wouldn't realize that the sign was him. i said, well, what if you send me a butterfly in november, then i'll know it's you. in the end of thor, he cannot return to earth like he promised his love, natalie portman, because the road back was destroyed. and in response to my demand for a sign, andrew said, "but what if my way back to you is destroyed, and i cannot send you a butterfly?" and it struck me to my core because that is totally believable, i just saw that happen on thor! and i realized that just like in thor, we would both have to work hard to find the road back to each other but that eventually we would find one (hey, it happens in the sequel, right?).

so thanks again, andrew, for providing comfort to my conscious and even harder, for reaching my subconscious with pop culture references. i only hope that someday when we die it will be as in the notebook, clasping each other in our old age, one of us slightly demented, but our love allowing us to die at the exact same time.

quality time together

2011-04-04T09:37:00.000-07:00

i granted andrew one birthday wish this year, in my attempt to make his birthday special and exciting. the birthday wish had some parameters: it had to be something i could do, not too extravagant, and just reasonable in general.

andrew decided his greatest reasonable wish was for me to play 2 hours of starcraft under his guidance and tutorial. i thought it was sweet that he wanted to spend time with me, but to be honest i wasn't super hyped about it. so on sunday we sat down together in front of his computer, me with my diet coke, andrew with a gleam in his eye, and we opened up starcraft. luckily for both of us, i have played early versions of warcraft and so real-time strategy was not a completely foreign concept. nevertheless, it was soon apparent that starcraft proficiency did not run in the family.

i played on casual, and actually advanced three levels (woot!) with andrew looking over my shoulder and basically micro-ing me. it was surprisingly enjoyable, mainly because andrew and i were there sort of working together. we might play a level every sunday just for kicks.

i also got a bit invested in the story. jim raynor is this bad a** rebel who is fighting the evil emperor of the universe. he had this hottie girlfriend who was infected by bugs and is now the bug queen, destroying worlds and attempting to eliminate humankind. i don't see a happy ending for raynor, but who knows, maybe joss whedon is not writing for them.

the "western outer-space" theme was prominent, and has been a favorite of mine ever since firefly. i do wish they had some more female marines and characters. the whole thing just seemed too male dominated for me. all the medics are female? all the marines are male? lame. i bet a woman could be as powerful in that huge space fighting suit that the marines wear.

in fact, i even dreamed about starcraft last night. i was with the ladies from our ward on an outlying planet. the zerg were fast approaching and raynor was calling all of us ladies in to fight the zerg or run simulations. it was up to us to save the planet, but we were still unsure if it was going to be possible. i woke up just as flying zerg thingies were entering our atmosphere.

i can't decide if that means i should never play starcraft again or if the dream was a prophecy for the future, and i need starcraft to hone the skills necessary to fight off bug like aliens who can infest humans...

What am I constantly studying?

2011-04-02T09:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes people ask me what I could be spending so much time studying, after all didn't I already graduate? I came across this sample exam problem that I thought I'd share to give you all some insight to problems actuaries are charged to solve.

For a tyrannosaur with a taste for scientists:

i) The number of scientists eaten has a binomal distribution with parameters q=0.6 and m=8
ii) The number of calories of a scientist is uniformly distributed on (7000, 9000)
iii) The number of calories of scientists eaten are independent, and are independent of the number of scientists eaten

Calculate the probability that two or more scientists are eaten and exactly two of those eaten have at least 8000 calories each.

Apparently actuarial science is just as much about dinosaur dietary habits as it is about financial models and life contingencies.

Drat

2011-04-02T09:27:00.001-07:00

A new season begins and I get demoted. Makes sense because I lost my first 10 games in the diamond leage. At least I can tell my kids someday that I was in the diamond leage (even if it was only for a few weeks).

andrew's birthday celebration

2011-03-30T13:00:00.000-07:00

andrew's birthday was a lot of fun! i started out by wrapping all of his presents. i've become a better wrapper in the recent past, and i find i like looking at the gifts as much as watching them being opened...

i also cooked, which is pretty rare in our house. we ate our csa pork chops with homemade apple sauce, asparagus, hollandaise sauce, potatoes, and a delicious strawberry and romano salad. the pork chops were a bit dry, but everything else was delicious. andrew and i pretty much could spoon hollandaise sauce into our mouths and be happy.

andrew getting ready to dig in, below.

i also made some oreo/cookies and cream cupcakes. i figured i'd go the cupcake route b/c then i could control portions and how much was made better. these cupcakes were rich and creamy and delicious! frosting and oreos make anything taste good.

looks disgusting, right? not so, quite delicious, even though the cake was too moist. i am still looking for the perfect chocolate cake recipe that is idiot proof, so if anyone has suggestions, send them my way!!

after cupcakes, andrew opened gifts. it was basically a starcraft themed birthday for him. my brother adam and his wife alissa got him this super awesome terran old school t shirt, and i got him a gaming mouse and dual sided gaming pad. andrew says the difference is noticeable! although he has yet to break it in with some serious playing, i'm pretty sure his t shirt and gaming pad will bring him luck.

we also watched tangled for his birthday, which was cute but no lion king. the music was so stupid i wanted to stab elton john for not writing it.

all in all, i think it was pretty good. here's to more great birthdays!!

happy birthday, andrew!!

2011-03-29T07:17:00.001-07:00

andrew is a quarter of a century today. half way to a midlife crisis and all the way to a quarter-life crisis ;)

since it's andrew's birthday, it is my duty to express my love for him semi-publicly, here on our blog. andrew, i love you!! thanks for being a great human being! you are truly a wonderful person and i am so happy i know you and that you are in my life. you've inspired me to do many things i never thought i would and you keep inspiring me with your perseverance and sense of humor.

although we are different, we are truly similar in many ways. i am lucky to have such a good friend for a spouse.

i have a song i often sing andrew on saturdays, when i'm feeling happy about two days of hang-out time. it goes something like this, "you are my best friend! you are my roommate! you are my husband!"and then repeats indefinitely (or until andrew starts up a starcraft game).

we are still very immature and i do not believe we've reached "adulthood" yet, but i know together someday we will be adults, or at least be better at pretending to be adults!

can't wait to be retired with you, andrew love!

calling all future apiarists!

2011-03-25T09:47:00.000-07:00

if you are interested in keeping bees, you should check out this new facebook group:

Busy Beehives

my amazing brother builds beehives for folks. you can even keep these in your backyard! if you have cool neighbors, that is...

need some inspiration?

2011-03-21T10:01:00.001-07:00

sick of mormon-mommy blogs (impossible!!)? check out andrew's cousin's blog:

http://cravingalife.wordpress.com

10:06PM on Friday Night

2011-03-18T19:08:00.000-07:00

and then there were seven...

2011-03-14T10:04:00.000-07:00

we have a new nephew.

welcome to the world

jacob berger

we can't wait to meet you.

my doppelganger

2011-03-03T13:44:00.000-08:00

bonnie found these. i basically couldn't be more creeped out.

mixed tape/playlist

2011-02-24T18:15:00.000-08:00

just put this together

Lady Antebellum—Need You Now
Glee's version of Justin Bieber's Baby
Katy Perry Teenage Dream
Glee's version of Train's Soul Sister
Tupac--Changes
Taylor Swift--Fifteen
Lady Gaga--Poker Face
Britney Spears--Womanizer
Taylor Swift--Back to December
Weezer--Only in Dreams
Dashboard Confessional--Screaming Infidelities
Alanis Morisette--Hand in Your Pocket
Ben Folds Five--Brick
Brand New--Jesus Christ
Dashboard Confessional--The Swiss Army Romance
Deathcab for Cutie--I will follow you into the dark
Fallout Boy--7 minutes in Heaven
Jack’s Mannequin--Bruised
Jason Mraz--Lucky
The Matches--Eryn Smith
Taking Back Sunday--Cute without the E
Weezer--Say it ain’t so
Justin Bieber--Somebody to Love
Glee's version of Jamie Foxx's Blame it (on the alcohol)
Taylor Swift--White Horse
Socratic--Magazine
Jimmy Eat World--Get it Faster
Motion City Soundtrack--Feels Like Rain

one heartbreak too many

2011-02-23T09:14:00.000-08:00

i'm not sure i can handle this latest stunt. is it time for a divorce?

every february, you'll be my valentine

2011-02-14T12:24:00.000-08:00

this valentine's day i'd like to send out a song on the airwaves to andrew.

this is for you, babe.

some pictures of my haircut

2011-02-05T11:52:00.001-08:00

i'm starting to figure out how to make it look cute. so much drama over this haircut--i had to go to the salon twice because the first time was so so bad/ugly. it's a bit shorter than i wanted, but i also just need to get used to it. i refused to smile b/c i still have bad feelings associated with it.

what's going on in our lives lately

2011-02-03T10:49:00.000-08:00

good news: andrew was promoted from the gold league to the platinum league in star craft!

bad news: andrew plays so much star craft he was promoted to the platinum league!

worse news: we owe the government thousands of dollars in taxes this year, and if we don't change our with holdings to negative one thousand (yes, i'm aware that is impossible/doesn't make sense) we'll owe them our first child next year!

other news: we'll post about christmas & brazil soon/when we feel like it.
both andrew and i got haircuts.
our landlord released us from our lease, so we can move whenever we want.

It's official...

2011-01-07T12:04:00.000-08:00

Andrew passed his exam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

only six more to go...

Hot Dog Quesadilla

2010-10-23T07:32:00.000-07:00

I've tried to find my niche in the blogosphere. Perhaps my comparative advantage is in a popular blog subject I haven't tried yet-Recipes. By subliminal coaxing from a friend, I decided to post the recipe to one of my most popular dishes:

Ingredients:
1 cup shredded cheese (of your choice, I prefer mild cheddar cheese from market basket)
1 Tortilla
1 Hot Dog Frank, I usually go for the 3 in one frank -- chicken, beef AND pork (can someone tell me why a hot dog frank with three different meats somehow is 70% cheaper than a frank with only one?!)

Directions:
Put shredded cheese on tortilla
Place frank in the middle
Microwave on high for 45-60 seconds.
Let cool for 20 seconds
roll into a cylinder around the frank

french people piss me off

2010-10-20T12:45:00.001-07:00

so everyone by now knows my job requires that i know a lot more than i ever wanted about retirement and pensions and things of that nature. even worse, i seem to get diarrhea of the mouth whenever anyone brings up pensions, retirement, unions or anything and i spew all of my knowledge onto friends, families, or any other unsuspecting victim in the vicinity. although i do try to control this, it is truly like diarrhea in that when it hits you, you just have to let go.

it is so bad that a few weeks ago andrew peacefully woke me up with some kisses on a saturday morning. instead of doing what most almost newlywed couples with no kids would do, we had a heated discussion about 401(k)s and pension plans for about an hour and a half. thus invigorated, we jumped out of bed ready to begin a long day of saving, which is boring in its very nature.

it is clear where i'm coming from. as a responsible, boring american i believe in saving for retirement when you are young, and consistently contributing throughout life. within these plans is the understanding that we'll probably not be able to retire until we're 70 years old (yes, that's depressing), because saving for retirement in america now-a-days comes with many risks to the individual and almost none to the company. one way to offset the risk is to invest in the market in the long term, and let compound interest do its job.

so when i hear about how the FRENCH are STRIKING and RIOTING because they might have to retire at age 62 instead of 60, it pisses me off. they are considering raising the retirement age by TWO years, which is still under the average US retirement by many years, because it costs their government tons of money to pay for the retirement of all of these frenchies. and to top it off, the average lifespan for the french is WAY higher than it is for americans, at 81.5 years! so not only do they go into retirement earlier, they live in retirement longer than us too!

ok, why is this pissing me off so much? i mean, i don't live in france and it really won't affect me (unless france really does go bankrupt, then it will affect everyone, remember a little country called greece?). it pisses me off b/c the french gov't is asking its people to take one for the team. please work two more years so that we don't go bankrupt as a country. please work two more years so we don't have to raise taxes for everyone just to cover your risk. but they refuse to be team players, and as is the way with the french, they decide that taking to the streets in angry revolution is a good solution to this problem.

which leads me to the next point, and that is that i hate all american politicians. it just feels like our politicians care more about appeasing special interest groups than actually doing what is right and good for the long term. where the eff is renewable energy? where is ss reform? why the eff are we in two wars? where the eff is osama bin laden? why are we talking about mosques? why does the gov't care who i marry? why are the craziest people i have ever seen in my life running for office and winning? why do comedy shows make more sense than our news stations? wtf? i often feel like banging my head against the wall whenever i crack open (metaphorically, everything's online now) the newspaper.

and lest you think i am a conservative in sheep's clothing, there is no way in h*ll i will vote for a republican in this election (sorry, andrew...). george bush was in office for eight years and didn't balance the budget ONCE in those eight years...[liberal rant about how bush sucked and ruined our country]. also, the tea party is i'm sure well intentioned, but come on, they are cray cray. the only solution to this craziness that is the world that i see is to join the whole world together in order to accomplish one thing: interstellar space travel. if that is our goal as a world, these other concerns will fade into the background. we won't need to worry about these things, we will rather worry about things like: can we create artificial intelligence that could potentially mimic a mother's relationship to a child enough to raise babies in space using androids? can we come up with a fuel source strong enough to approach even a fraction of light speed? how strong can we make telescopes? how can we use dark matter to travel through space? is it better to create intergenerational spaceships or try to come up with deep freeze technology?

those are the issues i care about. in the spirit of my rant, i will now replace the adjective "french" with "space" in my speech, and i encourage all supporters of my agenda to do the same.

space-fries. space-toast. space-bread. space-wine. space-cheese. mastering the art of space cooking by julia childs.

best birthday present:

2010-09-30T12:39:00.001-07:00

watching the britney spears episode of glee with andrew. jemaine and brett "simpsonized."

we went to eat tapas last night also. i am really awkward at tapas restaurants b/c i don't know how much food i am expected to order or when i should order it. do you order it all at once, start with a few dishes and then ask for the menu back? wtf? i tried googling it but there was no "how to order and eat tapas" page.

also, i always feel awkward when the server seems to want you to order alcohol. it makes me want to order it (and not drink) just so my waitress doesn't scuzz me out.

stupid waitresses. we should've just gone to bk....

(j/k, the food was yummy and andrew was perfect)

things i don't care about:

2010-09-30T12:01:00.000-07:00

byu football
twitter
facebook
what celebs think about politics
heidi klum's opinions as a "fashion designer" (stick to being eye candy!)
boston college

last night...

2010-09-15T09:59:00.000-07:00

andrew and i were finishing our date night in the usual way: looking up videos on youtube. i was comparing katy perry to lady gaga (sorry guys, gaga wins!), and andrew was looking at covers to death cab.

we decided to end on something we could all agree on: the bed intruder song. i know, i know, you are all onto bigger and funnier things on the internet. but really, there is something addictive about the song. i just can't help myself. so, andrew and i were watching and singing and dancing a little.

then andrew says, "man, i wish i could write lyrics like that. i mean, really, 'they're climbing in your window and snatching your people up...' those are some creative, amazing lyrics."

i agree, but you just can't make that stuff up. it is improv, it is "organic" (sorry peter, i know you hate that word... luckily you don't read our blog).

sometimes we will play the game, if you could go back in time and be a rock star what music would you write before the real bands who wrote it could?

me: weezer blue and pinkerton, pretty much any taylor swift song (yes, she counts!!!), green day dookie, no doubt tragic kingdom and return to saturn, alanis morissette's first two albums, brand new's song jesus, that black hole sun song, the pixie song that is awesome, tlc don't go chasing waterfalls and scrub, and some others.

Weber State Great Great Great!!!

2010-09-06T15:27:00.000-07:00

This weekend Gwen and I went to the Weber State Boston College game. I guest blogged about it on weberhoops.com a site largely run by some friends and siblings from Ogden.

http://weberhoops.com/wildcatwall.htm

-Andrew Berger

catch up

2010-08-09T18:40:00.000-07:00

i have a hard time posting pictures on blogs. please read this blog backwards.

thanks

gwen

the towels were quickly soaked. luckily they replaced the carpet and the mold smell is basically gone.

our apartment flooded a few saturdays ago. we were in the bedroom for about fifteen minutes for a rest on a rainy saturday afternoon and came out to a flooded apartment!!

good bye disney world! you are truly a benevolent dictator! i am so happy i didn't have to think for myself once while on vacation there!

no, andrew, don't go to the dark side!

You are so mischevious on huck island!

I'm on a train!!

I'm on a boat!!

Rusty!! Can you spot the tiger in this picture? Poor tiger, it was so hot.

It was all so well done!

Welcome to Disney World!!!

the bergers

Best friend brothers!!

Andrew was so mad I made him go to graduation. Food didn't even make him feel better.

Andrew's parents and brother Philip came out for Andrew's graduation. We are waiting for Suze Orman, at Andrew's graduation.

We made this turkey. Isn't it awesome??

Halloween 2010. Don't you think I should dye my hair silver?

Why I think strategic default is ok

2010-07-24T15:37:00.000-07:00

A not so recent NPR story and a few podcasts and articles I’ve listened to and read have got me thinking about the following question: “If you find yourself underwater on your house (i.e. you owe more than your house is worth) is it morally ok to default on the loan and walk away from the house even if you are still able to make the monthly mortgage payments?”

When I first heard the question I immediately thought no. I figured that if you signed your name promising to pay you should feel morally obligated to do so as long as you were able to. Plus, with homeownership such a systemically important sector of our economy, a mass default would probably cause serious chaos. I have since decided that it is not immoral to strategically default on your mortgage if you find it is in your best interest to do so.

When you buy a house and take out a mortgage, you not only agree to amortize the loan over a long period of time, but there are several other provisions within the contract that you and the bank agree on, I would like to talk about one of these provisions—the embedded option to default. (Stay tuned for another blog entitled “why the government should get out of the mortgage market” that will discuss another embedded option—the pre-payment option)

Most states require bank to offer home loans with no other collateral than the home itself (called a non-recourse loan). If you cease to pay on the loan, the bank cannot come after your other assets—your 401k, your car, your jewelry and they can’t garner your wages until you’ve paid them back, they can simply take your house. This clause implies that the home buyer has an option to sell the house back to the bank for the amount he/she owes on it, even if the market rate of the house is lower than the amount of the loan. In finance this would be analogous to what is known as a put option. For example, suppose I buy a stock for $50 from Steve. I want to guarantee that in a year I will have be able to sell the stock for at least $50 so I pay Joe $1 for the right (not the obligation) to sell my stock to him for $50 no matter what it’s worth in 1 year. If In a year the stock price is $60, I will not sell my stock to Joe for $50 because I can sell it for $60 on the market. If, however, after a year, the price of the stock is $40, I can choose to sell it to Joe for $50. I lose only the $1 I paid to Joe (and I guess the opportunity cost of making the riskless rate of interest on the $50, but alas I digress). In a similar way when you buy a house you are also buying the option to sell the house back to the bank for what you owe on it, even though the bank will not be able to sell it for that much on the market. The important point I want to make is that THIS OPTION IS NOT FREE. Just like in the stock example I had to pay Joe $1 (the option premium) for the option, home buyers pay banks for this implied option through higher rates of interest (this option was probably underpriced in the market, but it existed nonetheless).

To say that homeowners should feel obligated to continue to pay on their houses even though they owe more than the house is worth is like saying to the stock buyer when the stock price is $40 on the option expiration date that he can’t sell his stock to Joe for $50 anymore, that that is immoral. Joe took your $1, he agreed to buy the stock for $50 no matter what it was worth. The bank took your interest and agreed that you could turn in the keys and they wouldn't take your Picasso if the house didn’t cover the loan (we’ll ignore the cost of a ruined credit score for this thought exercise).

To me the real question isn’t whether or not strategic default is immoral; it’s whether the government should require this provision to be in mortgage contracts. My inclination is that it should not (maybe that’s the libertarian in my blood). In Canada this embedded option is not required and as far as I know their mortgage market works fine. I imagine a world where banks offer several different types of mortgages with several different rates of interest. For those who want to protect themselves from large swings in house prices, there would be a mortgage with a non-recourse provision which charges a higher rate of interest. For those who want a lower rate of interest and are comfortable assuming the risk their house will decline in value, there would be recourse possible loans. I imagine that the option doesn’t even need to be embedded in the mortgage in the first place! Perhaps the bank offers a simple recourse loan and you can buy the option to sell your house for what you owe on it from an insurance company (options are insurance products).

What do you think? Is it immoral to default on your house if you can afford the payments? Should states require that mortgages have a non-recourse provision? I think there are rational arguments on both sides of these two questions.

-Andrew Berger

Side note: I said that I think the option was probably mispriced in the housing market—I think that’s true. This probably stems from the increased volatility in housing prices in general. Traditionally housing has been viewed as a stable investment, one that grows slowly (perhaps just a bit faster than inflation) and consistently, so this option was pretty worthless. In the mid 2000s we saw a boom in housing prices followed by a sharp decline. Maybe banks started charging less for this option when they thought housing prices would never fall, but really they should have seen how volatility had increased in housing prices and charged more for these options. Generally speaking increased volatility increases the value of options.

the next stephenie meyer

2010-06-28T18:09:00.001-07:00

i dreamt last night that i was a shape shifter (werewolf) in a galaxy far far away. at some point, i was in a spaceship, fighting another werewolf for pack dominance.

shape shifters + space = book deal

great book idea, or best book idea ever?

i wish we could abolish spellcheck

2010-06-28T17:56:00.000-07:00

a co-worker of mine laughed sharply at the office last week.

"what was that?"

"a friend of mine from high school just updated her facebook. she said she was mourning michael jackson. but she spelled it m-o-a-r-n-i-n-g."

"hmmm...." in my mind i immediately pictured a woman tearing out her hair and moaning in pain. she had created a brilliant new word! she wasn't just mourning! she was MOARNING! a state so far beyond, so much more intense then a mourn. the rest of the world may be mourning michael jackson. not her. no, she was truly moarning him. i was impressed, and jealous that i hadn't come up with such a descriptive use of language.

or maybe she just knew it wasn't morning, but couldn't quite make it down the list of vowels to u.

being responsible makes me fat

2010-06-28T12:05:00.000-07:00

the stress
increased money supply (increased food supply)
decreased time supply (increased fast food supply)
increased intense working (increased intense snacking)

:(

Top 10 ways for Somerville to close its budget gap

2010-06-17T15:16:00.000-07:00

10. Turn Somerville Ave into a toll road
9. Levy a property tax on people living in Cambridge
8. 50% tax on bankers bonuses
7. Bicycle excise tax
6. Swearing fine
5. Pay cut for all city officials
4. City parking meters in Market Basket's parking lot. If management complains threaten to investigate the store for child labor laws
3. Sell your half of Holden Green to Cambridge
2. Don't close it. Issue a bunch of bonds, default on them and then flip off Warren Buffet
1. Two words: Prison Labor

The best course of action is to hire me as a budget closing consultant. I can think of these all day long.

-Andrew Berger
The municipal budget analyst

procrastination

2010-06-04T11:45:00.001-07:00

we have so many updates we need to do. andrew's parents came, andrew graduated, andrew passed his second actuary exam, we went to disney world. these updates will come with pictures soon.

but more importantly, tv sucks during the summer. the only bright spot? wipe out. it is a hilarious show that reminds me of the "iron chef" except with more action (is that possible?? yes!). check it out on hulu, there is a two hour "blind date" special. you'll be sure to lol.

happy summer

we have a new nephew!

2010-05-14T13:32:00.001-07:00

Owen Mark Berger

Congratulations Mark and Jen!!!

Babies make me feel immortal.

Movie Review: Wuthering Heights

2010-05-10T10:06:00.000-07:00

Every Sunday evening I get the craving to watch something PBS-ey, some period piece miniseries that takes six hours to finish and leaves you feeling happy and nostalgic. Andrew rarely gives in to my desire, hating both nostalgia and six hour chick flicks, but yesterday I was able to convince him. We watched Masterpiece Theater Classics Wuthering Heights, the 2009 version.

Has anyone read Wuthering Heights? I haven't. It was written in 1847 by a woman, Emily Bronte. I was certain the movie was going to be a great mini series, akin to Jane Austin or Elizabeth Glaskell. Full of family drama but ending with the protagonist happily married.

How have I lived my life as a bookie and 19th century nerd and never heard that Wuthering Heights was the most miserably depressing story ever told? It is full of death and selfishness and evil. The author even dies! One year after it was published.

Andrew and I sat watching, stunned expressions on our faces as the story unfolded. When Cathy tells Nelly that her love for Edger is like the changing leaves, but her love for Heathcliff is like the rocks below the vale. And then she marries Edger! When Heathcliff beds Cathy's husband's sister in revenge for Cathy getting pregnant by her own husband! Then Cathy dies and Heathcliff continues to ruin everyone's lives instead of just killing himself right then!

Andrew and I both went to bed last night disturbed. Andrew was particularly upset by all of the incest. "Isn't Heathcliff like her BROTHER?"

But their love was so passionate and wild! I don't regret watching it but it was NOT what I was expecting!!

My damn econ final

2010-04-30T12:03:00.000-07:00

Kind of based on a text conversation Gwen and I had

Andrew: I just finished my damn final

Gwen: Which final was that?

Andrew: My damn final

Gwen: What’s your damn final?

Andrew: Gwen no need for profanity, like I said my damn final. Damn as in Economics

Gwen: Oh your econ final

Andrew: That’s what I said! MY DAMN FINAL!

I guess 3266 spells both damn and econ and in my phone damn comes up first.

-Andrew

delicate constitution part 2: i've always had issues with my tongue

2010-04-29T13:03:00.000-07:00

this blog is brought to you by the letter s

as a little girl I lisped. I also pronounced all of my r’s as w’s. this isn’t abnormal for children. since it didn’t go away by third grade, my parents decided to put me in “speech therapy.” a speech therapist employed by the school would drag me out of class and I would go to a little office to play games and work to pronounce all my letters properly. by the end of fifth grade, I was an excellent rummikub player and could successfully pronounce the letter r. by middle school, I was one of only two tweens in my class who still had to go to speech therapy because of my persistent lisp. it wasn’t at all traumatic, as the others never knew where I went and I was excused from gym on a weekly basis. eventually, the system gave up on my lisp and my inability to change. to this day, when angry or especially tired, I drop my r’s and my lisp becomes more pronounced.

on Tuesday morning I went to the dentist to get a cavity filled. I have very bad teeth. it is a legend in my family that my bad teeth are a result of my mother being pregnant with me in west germany during Chernobyl. Andrew and I haven’t had dental insurance since we got married, so we haven’t been the dentist in two years. when dental kicked in after working at the bureau for three months, I quickly made an appointment. Andrew was fine, but I had one cavity.

I strolled to the dentist Tuesday morning while listening to radio lab’s recent episode, “animal minds.” i ended up in the dental chair in a relaxed mood, thinking about how humans could communicate with whales. the dentist pulled up a chair and handed me sunglasses to “protect my eyes from the bright light.”

“wow” I thought. “that is really considerate.”

she began administering the anesthesia. almost immediately, my tongue began to go numb and the pinching, miserable pain in my jaw was echoed in my tongue.

“holy sh*t…it feels like she poked the needle through my tongue…”

after about thirty seconds, the pain became unbearable and tears began to stream uncontrollably down my face.

“don’t worry, I’m halfway through. I am going slow so it doesn’t hurt as bad.”

when she was finished, she began to put my chair back up right.

“wait, wait! I’m going to pass out! please put the chair back down.” it was so traumatic I almost fainted. which isn’t that abnormal, to be honest.

she continued on with the procedure, and I left the office an hour later.

by noon the anesthesia had worn off in my lips and jaw, and my tooth began to ache. weird, my tongue was still numb. by six pm, my tongue was still numb. by the next morning, twenty four hours after getting the anesthesia, my tongue was still numb!

I called the dentist. she didn’t speak to me. the receptionist informed me that it should wear off in about five days. I didn’t believe her, and looked it up online. that’s where I first heard about the sub lingua nerve and permanent nerve damage caused by dental work. I called my parents, and freaked out! they called their dentist, who remembered me and talked them through it. she most likely went through my sub lingua nerve, which is why the anesthesia was so painful. the pain was her damaging my nerve. if I’m lucky, it will recover in one to two months. if I’m not lucky, it could take up to two years.

it feels like I am licking a battery, or that there are little evil gnomes electrocuting the left side of my tongue every time I move it.

surprisingly, this makes me eat more. maybe chips will make it feel better. no? maybe chocolate. no? maybe mint chocolate. still not better…maybe a bratwurst. hmmm, still feels bad. I should drink a couple glasses of diet coke. nope, still hurts…hey, what about veggie straws? half a bag later, I feel like vomiting and my tongue still hurts.

delicate constitution

2010-04-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

for the past few days i have had vertigo. the world keeps tilting on its axis and spinning slightly to the left. wtf?

in other news, i think i am going to sign up for a pottery class.

Happy Easter!

2010-04-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

we had a wonderful easter potluck at our place sunday night. our friends barry and amelia hosted a delicious and beautiful potluck brunch earlier, and i was sort of hoping a more capable hostess would step up for easter dinner. but i wanted it too badly to wait, so i volunteered our place. it's at least big.

i had a ton of help from my friend eunice frying up about 5 lbs of tofu. that's a lot of tofu for those of you don't eat tofu. unfortunately, disaster hit when i realized we didn't have soy sauce. i was really convinced we did during the THREE shopping trips (without a car) i took to get food for sunday. but we didn't, so i ended up just putting a crap load of maple syrup in the orange glaze i put on the tofu. people said it tasted like "a tofu waffle." i guess that could be taken as a compliment...

we also had an easter family program. everyone talked about a day during holy week or another topic related to easter. it was wonderful. we learned about weird polish customs that include beating judas iscariot, we heard amazing easter vespers music, and even got a few mardi gras beads.

thanks to everyone who came. we had a great time and fell into bed exhausted from the fun, food, friends, and family program.

i was taking a bunch of pictures of the people at the party, when my friend's toddler (who gets his picture taken quite often) really got into having his picture taken. he kept saying, "again!" so i kept taking pictures of him. then he decided he wanted a turn. "my turn!" i handed over the camera, and he quickly became an expert. i showed him where the button was and he was taking pictures all by himself. i've decided to post the pictures andrew and i took, and then below that the pictures by our toddler friend.

pink cardigans

not as pretty as their wives

yes, my friends look like mermaids.

she is not a teenage mother.

andrew crosses his legs like a european.

we could fit twice as many people, if we found out a way to utilize our high ceilings.

liser!!

babies and beads! they kept trying to eat them.

green shirts.

"my turn!"

surprisingly, andrew is not the angriest person in this photo...

our artsy friends.

you can see me in this one.

the following are pictures taken by our toddler friend. the captions are written in his voice.

self portrait.

liser!!!

mommy!

i can only see faces if you are sitting. don't you get it yet? i am short...

i like to take artsy photos.

who's that?! dan! (this picture may have been taken by someone else...)

man that wears toys on his head! (ditto)

who's the real photographer here?!

my godparents!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREW!!

2010-03-29T11:48:00.000-07:00

It's Andrew's birthday today. He is once again as old as I am. Happy Birthday, Andrew! I am so glad that you were accidentally conceived and birthed exactly six months after I was. I am also so glad that your mom stopped taking that medication while she was pregnant that probably would have made you a little different. Your parents were very inspired, and because of you I will never say that six boys are too many!!

It is amazing to be married to a best friend. It is like having the best roommate ever!!

Andrew, I love you even when you are stressed out and beard-y. How could I not, when you love me in all of my sweat pants no-makeup glory?

It has been a joy growing up with you. I look forward to growing old with you (although if I had my way, we'd turn into vampires).

Our Venn Diagram

2010-03-27T15:50:00.001-07:00

Taxes and Weather

2010-03-26T12:02:00.000-07:00

Around April 15th I think a lot about taxes. From November through April I think a lot about the weather. There are, therefore, a few weeks overlap between these two time periods which lead me to think about both weather and taxes.

Everyone hates paying taxes. In March, everyone in New England, after a long and miserably cold and wet winter, hates living in New England.

California has high taxes. It has a progressive state income tax. It also has great weather. Alaska has low taxes. It has no income tax. It also has awful weather. Do you think that in order to be incentivized to live in a miserable place like Alaska, people need to face lower taxes? Conversely, do you think that the government in California can charge higher tax rates because it takes a lot to deter people from soaking in the rays of Cali?

I did.

I decided to put together some data to see if there was a relationship between state and local tax rates and weather. For state and local tax rates I used data from the tax foundation at CNNMoney. For weather I looked at the average temperature for each state. I plotted the two against each other and found:

I was wrong

There seems to be no correlation between the two. Each dot represents a state and the red line is the trend line.

My results are hardly conclusive. Both variables aren’t very accurate. For taxes, it would be interesting to see average income tax, average sales tax and average property tax separately. For weather, I don’t think average temperature is the best measurement. It would be interesting to find some sort of "good weather index", one that takes into account rain fall, snow fall, temperature volatility, etc. If you find either of these, send it my way.

I suppose the reason there is no trend might be because there are different preferences in both taxes and weather. Some people prefer higher taxes and more public services; some people prefer lower taxes and fewer public services. Some people’s ideal world has snow year round, others (like me) would prefer month after month of highs in the 70s and 80s.

If you are looking for a mediocre 6th grade science fair project, feel free to plagiarize my idea and results.

this is not a joni mitchell or counting crows tribute

2010-03-18T12:16:00.000-07:00

I’ve been sick the past couple of days. It is miserable, especially since the weather is so nice out. Actually, I think it is the nice weather that is at the root of my illness. I always get sick in the spring. Last year it was during my spring break. This year, I am so lucky I don’t have a spring break! It would surely have been ruined by my sickness.

Speaking of things that make you sick, Andrew and I watched this documentary the other night with some friends.

It was intense. I think it upset me more than anyone because I don’t have the self righteousness of being vegan or vegetarian to stand on. Sure, I love dolphins and mammals of the sea. I would never eat one and I would never hurt one. But cows, pigs, chickens, lamb, and pretty much any mammal or bird of the earth that isn’t a rodent? Yes, please! And if it’s cooked Korean style, I’ll have thirds!!

I grew up a vegetarian. When I was pretty young, my mom decided that the meat industry was evil and horrible and that we shouldn’t support it. During my most formidable years I only ate vegetation. It wasn’t just an ideology imposed on me by parents. I believed in being a vegetarian. I believed in living a life that didn’t depend on other living things being tortured and dying.

For some reason, living abroad in a country where people routinely starve made me lose most of my ideology. So, I ate animals and didn’t care. I didn’t recycle and didn’t care. I didn’t pray and didn’t care. I came home to Andrew a meat eater, and Andrew came home to me caring about poverty. It was a strange turn of events, so we decided to get married.

Living in Cambridge, among the most idealistic people in the country, has helped me realize I should care. So we recycle, we go to church, we buy homeless people at Burger King a double Whopper. That’s right, we still eat meat. Part of the reason is b/c of Andrew. Part of the reason is because I’m lazy. Part of the reason is because I still am skeptical of idealism and the impact of an individual.

Then we watched The Cove. It was my idea, because I love dolphins and I also kind of like making myself feel depressed. As we watched it, I realized that not only do we kill mammals of the sea with little regard to their lives, we commit atrocious acts in the name of “living” all of the time. The very existence of humanity rests on the complete destruction of ALL living things, not just things with a heartbeat. We are huge bulldozers that destroy the paradise that God created for us. We attribute our existence, and the existence of the world to God, but we have done such a very terrible job of taking care of the earth, of living peacefully with the most incredible manifestation of God’s existence. Our lives depend somewhat on destruction. But we take it to a new level, we enjoy destroying, conquering. Dolphins are just a PG 13 version of what we do to each other and every other living thing on the planet.

I am no longer ok with being a creature of destruction. I’m just not sure it’s possible to change.

Home Improvement!

2010-03-07T14:38:00.000-08:00

There is nothing like home improvement projects to test the health of your marriage. We sanded and painted a bunch of stuff over the past month or so.

The Desk:

Gwen sanding by hand the crevasses in the desk.

Sanding the desk. This picture would be really creepy if the harmless sander were a chainsaw. Keep in mind this New England in February, it's freaking cold out there.

I wish I had taken some pictures of the stuff before we started the project. This is as close as a before picture to a desk as possible. At least you can see the color difference.

After! After long conversations and debates over what color we should repaint the desk we picked these two colors on sort of a whim while in Home Depot. I'd also like to point out that the curtains in the background are also homemade -- Gwen sewed them a few months ago.

This is an old black $10 Ikea coffee table that had a huge scratch in it that we decided to repaint. After repainting it we realized it didn't turn out so good so we found a new coffee table on craigs list a few blocks away that "needed to be refinished". We jumped on the opportunity and bought a new, real wood coffee table, sanded it and repainted it. I think it turned out great

We ended up keeping the old coffee table too. We just couldn't let go.

Next we built four shelves. I also painted the picture frame. There are two shelves in the living room and two in the kitchen.

neckbeard

2010-03-05T10:46:00.001-08:00

my march 1st resolution:

2010-03-02T10:08:00.000-08:00

stop staying up until 2am reading random ridiculous urban-fantasy or just fantasy books!! then i can get to work at a decent hour and i won't have to make up the time on weekends or by skipping lunch. grr!! sometimes my lack of self control when it comes to books is only destructive.

what is your march 1st resolution?

andrew is a socialist

2010-02-18T07:37:00.000-08:00

the other night i was obsessing about how we can be sure that we exist right before bed. this sometimes happens to me late at night when i'm lying in the dark. i wonder if i really exist, and it's very scary. andrew thinks it is evidence that I am a bit off. i’ve never claimed to be completely rational (it’s hard for an economist andrew to process that).

so i said to andrew: maybe that is why i am so bi-polar with my emotions, because that is a way to know you exist.

and andrew said to me: well, i think it can be bad to be so bi-polar.

then andrew thought for awhile, and he said: i think that men are emotional socialists.

me: what?! you are so crazy, i can’t believe you just called yourself a socialist!

andrew: yeah, well, men have dampened emotions with little growth and women have cyclical emotions that rise and fall, with booms and busts. i’d much rather be an emotional socialist than an emotional capitalist.

are you an emotional socialist or capitalist?

My Awesome Beard

2010-01-13T18:59:00.000-08:00

Whenever my beard gets a little more than a little scruffy Gwen nags me to shave. "You need to dress for the job you want, not the job you have" she reasons. The real motive that she has, however, isn't my professional success, she just knows that that is the right button for her to push to get me to shave my facial hair. Really, she just jealous that I can grow such an awesome beard and she can't. This winter break gave me a whole month that I wouldn't have to go to work--a window of opportunity that would allow me to express my masculinity, a whole month to grow out my beard. Any objection Gwen raised was immediately shot down by my undefeatable logic, "I don't have work for a whole month! I can do whatever I want!". As the month went by and my beard got awesomer and awesomer I began to dream of the numerous ways I could shape my facial fur to express myself. I decided when I got home I would not shave, but rather simply groom myself and walk the fine line between professional and casual. This is what came of it.

Unfortunately, this picture is the only record of my achieving such an epic look. Within five minutes I was forced to shave it all off. If I had refused any longer, I think Gwen would have wrestled me down and taken it off herself.

Renouncing Market Capitalism

2009-12-19T06:35:00.000-08:00

After deep thought and profound soul searching I have decided to renounce market capitalism. It has become clear from the past year that under regulation in every industry led the economy to the brink of collapse, with unemployment in the US surpassing 10%--almost the highest it has been since the great depression. I confess that I, as a recovering neo-classical, spent too much time advocating that policy should be geared towards increased productivity and efficiency and not enough time focusing on how it should be geared towards increasing jobs. I no longer believe the labor market is intrinsically stable without serious government intervention. I propose three policies that I believe will bring the unemployment rate close to zero basically overnight without the government incurring huge expenses.

Policy number 1: Set a maximum on the percentage of media you can buy online.

When I was a heartless capitalist, I thought of amazon.com and other giant online retailers as a godsend. They increased public good by decreasing the real price of books, CDs and basically everything by cutting out the middle man (the retailer) and thus decreasing overall overhead and labor costs embodied within the product. I unemotionally witnessed retail book stores and media outlets go out of business (The Bookshelf anyone?). “If people valued retail book stores they would continue to shop at them and they wouldn’t go out of business”, I argued. That seems so cold now. To remedy the problem and increase the number of jobs in the media retail sector I propose a regulation on the amount of media each person can purchase online, say 50%. Every time you buy a book or DVD, you must provide your social security number, whether online or in the store. A central database tracks your individual purchases and anytime you go over your online allotment you get hit with a huge fine, or perhaps it just doesn’t let you make the purchase. This would create so many jobs! Firstly, there would be more bookstores constructed, therefore construction jobs would increase. Jobs would be increased in the media retail industry as more people are hired to service the demand for media not online. Several high paying IT jobs would be created as a giant tracking database is set up and then privacy is maintained. People would have to get out more to buy media so you can expect increases in the transportation sector—more bikes, cars and busses produced, more gasoline consumed etc.

Policy number 2: Make all retail stores hire a welcome person.

As a capitalist I used to shop at Walmart. Whenever I walked into the store and was greeted by a welcome person I thought to myself ‘man I don’t want to be doing that when I’m retired’ and ‘what an inefficient use of labor’. Surely if Walmart didn’t hire people to greet their customers they could save the $6 an hour they pay them and pass those savings onto their customers and shareholders. Such inefficiencies drove me crazy! Now, however, I realize that this is what we need in our country, more workers that are basically unproductive. I propose that every retail store and restaurant be required to hire a greeter. Overnight you would create the number of jobs equal to the number of stores in existence multiplied by the number of shifts each store is open.

Policy number 3: Require all cars that are being driven on the roads be no older than 5 years.

I saw a Toyota advertisement the other day that said something to the effect that the majority of Toyota cars sold in 1990 are still on the road today—19 years later. At the time I thought to myself how great that was. By making reliable long lasting cars, Toyota has reduced the number of cars people have to buy saving them tons of money in their lives. But isn’t our auto manufacturing industry hurting from this? Wouldn’t Ford and GM sell a lot more cars if none of the cars sold in 1990 were still on the road today? I propose a law requiring that all cars driven on public roads be newer than five year old. Think of the jobs this would create! Not only would it create thousands, perhaps millions, of auto manufacturing jobs, steel production jobs, ore mining jobs and plastic manufacturing jobs, it would increase auto dealer jobs. There would need to be more factories and dealerships built so there would be an increase in construction jobs. The new cars have to be transported so there would be an increase in transportation jobs—more truckers, more truck manufacturing, more barge manufacturing etc. The law would need to be enforced so there would need to be more police patrolling the streets for old cars. The justice system would see higher traffic so there would be more jobs for judges, lawyers and clerks. The old cars would have to go somewhere so there would be huge job increases in waste management. Surely nonprofit environmental groups would be outraged by such waste and excess use, so they would hire more people. Because many unemployed people would now have jobs, they could spend more money eating out and on entertainment so these industries would also see boosts in employment. I actually can’t think of a single industry that wouldn’t see an increase in jobs.

These are my first thee ideas. If after these have been implemented the unemployment rate isn’t at below say 3%, just let me know, I can come up with these ideas all day long.

-Andrew, the job creation think tank

Fall of 2009

2009-10-31T07:02:00.000-07:00

So far this fall we have done exactly three fun things. Here are some pictures:

1) At the end of the summer we took a two day one night trip to New York. I had never been in New york except for the airport. We took a bus there early on a Thursday Morning and returned home on Friday night.

2) We went to Montreal Canada on a last minute midnight trip with some of our friends.

3) For Gwen's Birthday we had a vampiresque themed party. She was Gwen from Buffy and I was Xander with an eye patch.

Also I wanted to congradulate Gwen on her new Job! She will working for the National Bureau of Economic Research -- working with the top economists on projects that pretain to retirement savings. It is going to be a sweet job that will utilize Gwen's many skills. Now I can quit my job and school and focus on my promising music career.

My New Favorite Frenchman and Free Trader

2009-10-04T08:55:00.000-07:00

Frederic Bastiat wrote the following in response to new legislation in the 1840s on higher duties on all foreign goods in order to protect French Industry:

Petition of the Manufacturers of Candles, Wax-Lights, Lamps, Candlesticks, Street Lamps, Snuffers, Extinguishers, and of the Producers of Oil, Tallow, Resin, Alcohol, and Generally, of Everything Connected with Lighting." To messieurs the members of the Chamber of Deputies.

We are suffering from the intolerable competition of a foreign rival, placed, it would seem, in a condition so far superior to ours for the production of light that he absolutely inundates our national market with it at a price fabulously reduced. The moment he shows himself our trade leaves us— all consumers apply to him; and a branch of native industry, having countless ramifications, is all at once rendered completely stagnant. This rival, who is no other than the sun ....

What we pray for is, that it may please you to pass a law ordering the shutting up of all windows, skylights, dormer-windows, outside and inside shutters, curtains, blinds, bull’s- eyes, in a word, of all openings, holes, chinks, clefts, and fissures...

...if you shut up as much as possible all access to natural light, and create a demand for artificial light, which of our French manufacturers will not be encouraged by it?

... If more tallow is consumed, then there must be more oxen and sheep ... if more oil is consumed, then we shall have extended cultivation of the poppy, of the olive... our hearhs will be covered with resinous trees.

Make your choice, but be logical; for as long as you exclude, as you do, iron, corn, foreign fabrics, in proportion as their prices approximate to zero, what inconsisency it will be to admit the light of the sun, the price of which is already at zero durring the entire day!

And on a lighter note, I thougt this was pretty disturbing.

Offer to my admirable vegetarian friends

2009-08-29T05:17:00.000-07:00

I have several vegetarian friends (and even two vegan friends). Though I am an omnivore, I would like to say just how impressed I am with their will and dedication. I imagine it is not easy, in a society where eating animals is central to most meals and where eating is an important part of culture, to abstain from eating meat. Be that as it may, there are several reasons to be vegetarian. Here are a few of those reasons.

The Environment
Animal grazing destroys natural habitats, riparian areas and emits large amounts of greenhouse gasses. It is a wonder to me that with so many negative externalities, the government (in an attempt to save jobs) subsidizes the meat industry with underpriced grazing access to federal lands and import limits on meat exporting nations. Instead, there should be a higher tax imposed on meat (in particular beef) to price in the whole cost of meat consumption.

Health
I’m no nutritionist but I don’t think I’ve ever heard a health expert suggest that we should eat more hormone injected red meat.

Cost
Eating meat is expensive. Thanks to my parents, I have been indoctrinated with a from-the-farm Idaho Mormon passion for frugality. While meat tastes great and can make one satisfying meal, it can also double the cost. Too rich for my blood (who says that?).

Animal Cruelty
The way the meat industry raises and slaughters the animals we eat can be less than humane at best. Nobody likes to see a living being suffer.

Whatever your reason for being vegetarian, I believe it is a noble one. That being said I would like to offer a standing invitation. If ever any of you vegetarians have an unquenchable hunger for meat and need moral support to bring yourself to temporarily lapse on your animal friendly commitment, I stand at the ready. We could go out for rodízio or I could fry up some steaks on my grill. If you want your indulgence to remain a secret, I won’t tell anyone—not your spouse, not even my wife.

Your judgment free pork chop awaits.

-Andrew

Recipe for Idiocy

2009-08-27T09:04:00.000-07:00

As many of you have noticed I’ve been on a taxation kick recently. A few days ago, to bring my temporary obsession with taxation to an end I decided to write one more taxation blog—one that would solve the fiscal budgetary crisis, rising health care costs and the American obesity problem all at once. The title of this blog was “Fat Tax—Solving the Health Care Problem One Pound at a Time”. Upon completion, I forwarded the draft to Gwen to look over and post. She rightfully informed me that despite my minimal effort to keep it tasteful, the blog was outrageously offensive. She told me I could post it when I got home if I still wanted to. When I got home I still wanted to post the blog but realized that my sarcastic piece of satire could possibly be misinterpreted. Plus it was kind of mean. I then decided to shift my blogging attention away from taxation (and economics in general) to a less polarizing topic—recipe websites.

If you or your spouse is anything like my wife, no meal can be prepared without extensively researching several cookbook websites and blogs. Online recipes are a prime example of how technology has allowed us to collaborate and connect with a large number of people for the betterment of life (more specifically in this case, our meals). This, like the democratization of technology in general, has some unavoidable and interesting side effects. One such side effect, which I would like to comment on today, is the ridiculously irrelevant comments posted on some of these sites.

Most of these sites and blogs allow the general viewers to post comments on the recipes posted. This can be very beneficial. A small adjustment stumbled upon by an end user, when shared with the greater community, can increase the utility of everyone. This is an example of how collaborative innovation can be a magnificent method of creation. The down side of this technological democratization is that for every one thoughtful commenter and beneficial comment there are x number of dense commenters and ridiculous comments (where x>1).

Here are a few “has nothing to do with the recipe” comments I found online (or rather I made up, but they probably exist):

Woman, age 42 from Dallas writes:

“Thanks for the tuna casserole recipe. My husband doesn’t like tuna or casserole but I decided to make this anyways. He works really long days selling stuff he stole on ebay and generally prefers to eat frozen corndogs dipped in a strange sauce of ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise and butter. One day we ran out of ketchup so he sent me to buy some. I ran into an old friend of mine who also reads your blog. I don’t think she’s tried your tuna casserole recipe yet.”

Justin a bachelor age 33 from Georgia writes:

Title: beter by gold
“I made these here smoothies last nite. Last nite their was a meaten about the health care barak hoo-in-sane obama is gonna shuv down our throts. He is such a moran. It’s communism! He is gonna take away our wrights. I herd he is also gonna raise gas prices and send our jobs to Africa, like in china.”

There are also the “change the recipe until it is no longer even remotely the same” comments. Here are a few examples:

Tara, age 28 from Philadelphia comments on a chicken noodle soup recipe:

“This was absolutely disgusting! It didn’t taste at all like the chicken noodle soup I remember my grandmother making. I did exactly what the instructions said to except I didn’t have any salt so I just added a little extra pepper to compensate. I also was out of carrots and onions so I put in a little garlic for flavor. I accidentally doubled the amount of water so I let it boil for 10 extra minutes so that it would evaporate out. My fiancé and I only ate a few bites and then we had to throw the rest away. Do not make!”

John, age 23 from Oregon comments on a vegetarian taco recipe:

“These were the best tacos I have ever had! Thanks for the recipe. I did make a few adjustments that I think improved it just a bit. For example, instead of using black beans I used re fried beans. Instead of 1 cup yellow onions I used ½ cup red onions. Instead of using taco seasoning I used spaghetti sauce. I quadrupled the amount of cheese and added a package of bacon. Instead of frying the ingredients and putting them on tacos, I decided to bake them on a pizza crust. They turned out awesome."

The list of examples could go on for the length of several encyclopedia sets. Feel free to post a comment of your favorite ridiculous recipe comments.

-Andrew

I really love the color

2009-08-25T10:36:00.000-07:00

yellow.

--Gwen

Comments fix

2009-08-05T16:49:00.001-07:00

An avid blog follower informed me recently that he was not able to post comments on the blog. I investigated the issue and found that indeed posting comments was not working. This discovery answered the question that has been bothering me recently--"why are the estimated thousands (seasonally adjusted) of my blog followers not posting on my blog?" I fixed the glitch and now you all should be able to flood the boards with your praise.

-Andrew

A Republican saying increase taxes??

2009-08-01T05:15:00.000-07:00

Wow two posts in just two days.

I was reading some past posts from my favorite blog (by Greg Mankiw) and I came accross this article

http://gregmankiw.blogspot.com/2006/10/pigou-club-manifesto.html

I generally don't have a good taste in my mouth for anything with "manifesto" in the title (Communist manifesto... anyone?) but after reading this article I decided to let go of my bias against manifestos and join the pigou club.

I fully support higher gasoline taxes for the reasons Mankiw listed in this manifesto. The article got me thinking about how our whole tax system should generally be based on consumption taxes. Here are a few reasons I believe this:

1) Consumption taxes imposed on things that aren't good for individuals can be highly beneficial. Generally called "Sin Taxes" taxes on things like cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana (if it were legalized) and I would even add fast food, candy, soda etc. discourage people from consuming things that are generally bad for them and encourage consumption of things that are generally good for them. People who consume the items listed above abundantly generally have worse health and therefore higher health care costs, especially in their later years. This becomes a high cost for the government as health care for the elderly is often paid for partially or entirely by the government. These taxes, therefore, make those responsible for the cost of health care the ones who have to pay for it. This reduces what I believe is a huge inefficiency. In a sort of twisted way a higher gasoline tax would be a type of sin tax in that it discourages you from doing something bad (driving) and encourages you to do something good (walking--at least to the T).

2) Immigration woes. One of the biggest anti-immigration arguments is that illegal immigrants fill our prisons, schools, and hospitals draining our money from our system. This may be a valid argument under the current tax system that we have in place, but if we shifted towards a more consumption based tax system, illegal immigrants who work for wages under the table (and avoid income tax) still pay taxes like the rest of us because they are still consuming. They, like the rest of us, would then be paying into the system which they, like the rest of us, take out of. At the very least it might silence the extreme right wing, gun toting, confederate flag wielding nut jobs from vomiting the same old (get those damn--insert ethnic minority here--out of our country) rhetoric.

3) Increases the incentives for savings. Like briefly mentioned in the manifesto, a more consumption based tax system encourages people to save, and with the savings rate recently near 0% in the US, that seems to be a pretty important thing. When I go to Burger King I have really only two options: Buy the Jr. Whopper for 99 cents or don't and save that 99 cents (I always eat off the dollar menu--due to my extreme frugality). If the whopper jr. were $1.30 I would be less inclined to buy it and more inclined to save the money. Our current tax system (largely based on income, payroll and corporate tax) discourages saving and encourages spending.

The biggest argument against consumption taxes (especially sin taxes) is that they are more regressive than income tax. While this doesn't necessarily have to be the case, it wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing to shift towards a less progressive tax system in the United States. The US currently has the most progressive income tax system of the OECD nations, (http://www.taxfoundation.org/blog/show/24944.html), and recently the top 1% of taxpayers began paying more income tax than the bottom 95% of tax payers combined. (granted income distribution is a key component of this figure--it's still surprising--see link above)

In short-tax negative externalities? Yes! Shift from an income tax system to a consumption tax system? Yes!

-Andrew

Friday afternoon

2009-07-31T14:33:00.000-07:00

It is two hours until the end of the Friday work day. As is to be expected on a Friday afternoon at work I am slowly drinking a can of Coca-Cola © after enjoying a delicious lunch of left over Thursday night dinner—today that just happens to be mac and cheese. Much like any other Friday afternoon I find myself overly anxious for the work day to come to an end so that my weekend can begin. My gaze fluctuates between the contrasting silver on red “everyone pays KIDS price” Six Flags advertisement located just below the coke can's lip and the computer screen’s crisp exhibit of rows 19-55 and columns A to Q of a portion of a Microsoft Excel © worksheet which displays cells with words and numbers differentiated by varying colors of text and backgrounds. The clock located in the bottom right corner of the screen displays 2:15. The two solid dots separating the hours from the minutes remain in place giving no visual indication that seconds are passing by. Broadening my shoulders and straightening my posture I draw into my lungs a deep breath of the scentless office air and prepare to enter a deep relaxation and anxiety release exercise I mastered during my passage through Ogden City schools. Once my lungs are uncomfortably full I lean back on my chair, close my eyes and allow the majestic sounds of nature entrance my being into a state of unconscious bliss. My heart’s pace slows, my mind releases its grasp of the present and knots begin to twist into formation inside my stomach as mother nature miraculously pricks away my conscious barriers until my senses are completely surrendered in her nurturing care. The click of a mouse, the scroll of its wheel, the chatter of fingertips clapping away on keyboards,the distant sound of a hearty laugh, the not so distant muffles of a woman’s chatter, the ruffle of papers and the creek of a chair begin to fade into the vast nothingness beyond the reach of my mind--the great outside. Rich intoxicating images, sounds, smells and feelings drift into what once was my soul. Sharp contrasting oranges and yellows blaze across dark maroon reds and purples. Waves of sharp greens and dull blues burst into existence. The sounds of armies marching, butterflies flapping their wings and a squirrel leaping from branch to branch—his heart beating faster and faster as he avoids discovery by a determined aerial predator—flood into my ears. Popcorn freshly buttered and warm apple pie dominate my sense of smell though hints of wild sage, dark black smoke, gasoline and Kentucky Fried Chicken © also manifest themselves. Anger, desperation, defeat, triumph, gladness, depression, sadness, empathy, orgasmic bliss, and a deep sense of being content wrestle against each other to shape, manipulate or ingratiate me. Then all at once it vanished as a long stream of golden light penetrates the threatening overcast masses of nothing and everything to find its home on a single flower reaching out for sanctuary from its haunted past.

And in this moment, a dream is born.

And it is now 2:16.

-Andrew

I love lists

2009-07-28T14:50:00.000-07:00

Things I love

Jacques Lacan
Spontaneously laughing so hard your drink comes out your nose
Playing with smiley babies
Day dreaming about if dragons were real
The Central Square Branch
When it’s too hot to wear clothes
Rusty
Pictures of children taken by their moms
Skirts that twirl

Things I Hate

People telling you: “you are over qualified for this job!”
Apartment “realtors”
When Rusty pukes and I watch him eat it—I can’t look away but it’s so gross!
Not being as adventurous as I imagine myself

--Gwen

Reminders that I am a Hick

2009-06-19T20:04:00.001-07:00

Roy is a town 10 minutes from Ogden, where we grew up.

More about fiscal responsability

2009-05-19T14:38:00.000-07:00

I found this article posted on Greg Mankiw's blog.

http://www.realclearmarkets.com/articles/2009/05/barack_obamas_risky_deficit_sp.html

Also, I thought this was pretty funny.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_djgssszshgM/ShFtSwAVupI/AAAAAAAAA7Q/4DszIIxolwA/s1600-h/deathstar-bailout.JPG

-Andrew

Congrats Gwen!

2009-05-17T20:42:00.001-07:00

Just a few days ago Gwen finished everything she needed to for her Master's Degree at Harvard Divinity School in theological studies (woman in religion). If she had changed her name to conform to the patriarchy of our society she would have been the first Berger (in this generation) to get her Master's Degree, though now it looks like Mark will beat her to it, unless, of course, I can convince her to change her last name in the next 6 months or so.

But seriously, congratulations Gwen for finishing. You are truly an academic inspiration for me and my family.

-Andrew

Bipartisanism = Economic Populism

2009-05-14T07:56:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot about fiscal responsability lately, how could I not? The federal governemnt is projected to run huge deficits (and when I say huge I mean 10% of gdp huge) for the next 10 years under Obama's proposed budget. And why not? What's the big deal? We want everything and we don't want to pay for it so why not just borrow a bunch of money and have what we want?

Unfortunately, despite what we try to convince ourselves, deficit spending in excess of 3% or so is unsustainable. In other words, the United States does not have an infinite line of credit. It is interesting to note that of all the government debt about half of it is owned by the Fed (the federal reserve buys government bonds to inject money into the system and lower interest rates), but a surprisingly large amount is held by foreigners and foreign governments, about 28%. (Source http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_public_debt) Foreign holders of US debt are beginning to be a little wary of the stability of the dollar. In the G20 meeting held in London recently China's finance minister proposed replacing the dollar with an international currency as the main currency used in international trade--this is a clear sign that perhaps foreign governments are starting to lose faith in the US dollar. If that's the case, how are we going to finance our deficits? Perhaps the government should push the Fed to buy more bonds, decreasing the interest rate, and inflate away the debt. There is no geo-political risk associated with that (sarcasm). One thing is for sure, we can't cut spending or increase taxes. That is outrageous!!

Don't get me wrong I'm not only blaming the Democrats. I'm blaming both Democrats and Republicans. I am a member of the Republican party because I believed that the Republicans shared my view of lower flatter taxes, yes, but also fiscal responsibility. In fact, I always was under the assumption that fiscal responsibility trumped lower taxes in this party. Now, however, I'm not so sure that this is the case. George Bush, in his first year in office, turned soaring budget surpluses (we enjoyed thanks to the Clinton administration coupled with an economic boom), into an outrageous budget deficit by unprecedentedly cutting taxes, waging war and not vetoing one single spending bill (including a huge unfunded drug entitlement program) his entire tenure. Truly I feel bad for President Obama having walked into a budget nightmare.

If I can simplify the matter, Obama can do one of two things. 1) Commit political suicide and reform social security like it really needs to be reformed (cut benefits--especially on young retirees and increase taxes on everyone), or 2) pull a G.W. and cover your ears when economists begin to tell you that the budget is seriously out of control and uncover them just in time to hear Dick Cheney say "deficits don't matter". My worry is that he will chose the latter (as is apparent in his budget proposal).

My point is this: for years Republicans and Democrats have been fighting over size and scale of the government. Should we increase or decrease taxes? Increase or decrease spending? I'm just glad we have found a middle ground finally. We can now cut taxes and increase spending! Who cares?! Deficits don't matter! (thanks Cheney for that).

-Andrew

Starting a blog -- it's always about gender

2009-05-10T09:35:00.001-07:00

A few days ago I told Gwen we should start a blog. Often whenever I suggest we do something Gwen interprets the "we" as "you" and makes it about gender--once again this was the case. "You mean 'I' should start a blog because 'I'm' a woman and it's the woman's job to keep family history," she responded in a ... well... feminist way. She continued to point out that out of all of our friends, only the women keep blogs going and that suggesting that we start a blog was somehow sexist. So Kate, Lisa, Elizabeth and the rest of the female bloggers, I join you! Maybe I'll even let Gwen post every so often.

I'll take this first-blog opportunity to introduce us a little bit. Gwen and I first met each other when we were toddlers in Pullman Washington where both of our parents went to graduate school at Washington State University. We really didn't know each other though, until high school where we became friends through a few common friends and we didn't start to date until our friendship was in shambles. The 2004 presidential election drove a huge rift into our friendship as I whole heatedly (at the time) supported the incumbent President Bush and Gwen supported John Kerry. It wasn't so much the debate of who should be our president for the next 4 years that caused the turbulance, but this did create the opportunity for heated debate about politics. At the time, I was a devout conservative talk show listener and Gwen was a hippie liberal college undergrad. Without getting into the juicy details, let's just say things got quite ugly. After the election, we were all but worst enemies. The only thing that could save our relationship was romance.

We dated for the next year until I went on a Mormon Mission to Bahia Brazil where I spent two years. While I was gone Gwen finished her degree in Middle Eastern Studies and developmental economics from the University of Utah, worked on a Kibbutz is Israel, and spent some time in South Africa. After the 2 years we met back up in Utah. She got accepted to Harvard Divinity School to do a Master's degree in theological studies - in particular women in religion. A year into her program we got married an I joined her in Boston where I am now finishing my Bachelors degree in Mathematical Sciences from Bentley University.

The past 4 years have really moderated us both politically. I am still a Republican and she is still a Democrat but we rarely fight about politics and find ourselves agreeing more often than not. The other day we were talking about how this was the case, when Gwen proposed that fundamentally I believe in individualism and the self made individual and she believes in community and the importance of people working together for the common good. While this fundamental difference causes me to self identify as a capitalistic free trading Republican (note: i no longer listen to conservative talk radio as I think they're a bunch of crazies) and her to self identify as a liberal Democrat we often find ourselves agreeing on contemporary issues. While I think it would be more exciting to say that I've gone so far to the right and she's gone so far to the left that we've somehow come together--perhaps at a crazed anarchist libertarian spot somewhere out in space--this isn't really the case.

We both like to watch TV. This somehow started only after we were married but we watch Bones, the Office, 30 Rock, Legend of the Seeker and Dollhouse basically every week. Gwen really likes to read, bake delicious treats, talk with her friends. I play the guitar and video games (in fact I'm trying to get a starcraft clan in place for when Starcraft 2 comes out---This is just thrilling!!!!...)

I'm really bad at wrapping things up, so I'll just end now.

-Andrew